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Ways to Engage Your Prospects Without Becoming a Bore

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Bore: A person who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Gian Vincenzo Gravina

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A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.
Henry Ford

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One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore…

and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

John Updike

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The worst thing about a bore is not that he won’t stop talking, but that he won’t let you stop listening.

Author Unknown

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Copyright © 2010 Thomas Lee

Heartstormer Thomas Lee lives in Bozeman MT.

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Me Me Me ME ME ME! And then I…

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Are you a bore or a listener when you interface with prospects, clients, networkers, and others? Are you asking enough questions that allows the other person to share? Do you let them know that you heard them by paraphrasing what they share with you? For example, “What I heard you say is…” Or do you enter someone’s space and begin talking about yourself before you even sit down?

Here are some tips that will help you be liked in the process of building relationships with the people who can give you what you want.

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Show Up
Make the Meeting About the Other Person
Ask Questions
Be Caring
Be Fully Present
Listen
Get Information
Give Information
Laugh a Little
Dare to be Different
Develop Loyalty
Be a Little Mischievous
Remember Details

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Ask creative questions that are challenging, caring, interesting, informative, open-ended. Creative questions often begin with What if…? How may we…? In what ways…? Who are…? Why…? These kinds of questions are filled with a variety of answers that will help you get to know the other person. Each question leads to dialog. Do not ask questions that may be answered yes or no. Practice keeping control of the interview. Do not give your power away. Hold back from handing your portfolio to your prospect for as long as possible. Get them talking about themselves. Repeat what you heard your prospect say to confirm that you understand and to let them know you are listening. What I heard you say is… It is okay to take notes.

Make a list of ten creative questions that you may ask to learn more about your prospect and to get them sharing about themselves. Here is a starter list of advertising related questions (Please make up your own):

What if we were to collaborate on an assignment? What would you want me to know about you? What would you want to know about me?

What if you could change one thing about the agency business, what would it be?

What if you knew who the right photographer was to do a job even before you created the final concept? Have you ever worked with a photographer the initial concept phases of an ad.

Pretend that advertising has been banned by congress. What kind of work would you do? How would you go about doing it?

What if the next print ad you did demanded the highest level of innovation? In what ways would you want to collaborate with a photographer?

What if we were living in a Utopian world where each person could choose the kind of work they want to do? What kind of work would you do if money was not an object?

If you could make one improvement about how photographers try to get your attention, what would it be?

Let your prospects know that you know something about them and that you have chosen them as prospects. Let them know you are interested in them:

I want to work with art directors who are not only interested in great ideas but who can sell them through to their clients. I want to work with risk takers. Etc… (personalize this) I saw what you did when you were still at Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe. How in the world did the agency get the client to approve the idea?

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This quote should be printed and placed where you can see it every day. Perhaps it should be attached to proposals and estimates. It was written sometime in the 1890s.

It’s unwise to pay too much, but it’s worse to pay too little.

When you pay too much, you lose a little money, that’s all.

When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything,

because the thing you bought was incapable of doing the thing it was bought to do.

The common law of business balance

prohibits paying a little and getting a lot — it can’t be done.

If you deal with the lowest bidder, it is well to add something for the risk you run,

and if you do that, you will have enough to pay for something better.

John Ruskin (1819-1900)

British writer and art critic who considered a great painting
to be one who conveys great ideas to the viewer.

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Eleven Industry Myths Demythified!

It is ineffective to do the same thing
or even the same thing differently.
It is vital to innovate; to do something new and different.

The Time is Ripe!

Please see and hear a recording of  my Webinar on this subject at liveBooks.

Photographers must make drastic and far-reaching changes in their ways of thinking and behaving.

The world of commercial photography, as we have known it, has changed. The industry needs to focus on severing ties with the past and to invent innovative ways to find and proclaim a new vision – institutionally and individually. We all know there is something wrong. We have experienced the devaluation of services provided by commercial photographers. We have tried to fix things by focusing on copyright, usage, and branding. All important, but not enough.

It is my observation that many members of the commercial photography community are coming from victim mentality. Many feel oppressed and are placing blame on others. These are conditions that are symptoms of resistance to change and growth. We need to develop far reaching change in ways of thinking and behaving – more of a cultural and social change than an overthrowing of authority.

Is photography a calling for you? Are you resisting your calling? Is you career based upon your passion and beliefs or are you second guessing the marketplace and doing it just for others and for the money? If so, is it working? The more scared we are of a calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore, the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.

The professional tackles the project that will make him stretch. He or she takes on the assignment that will bear him into uncharted waters, compel him to explore unconscious parts of himself or herself. Is she scared? Hell, yes. She’s petrified.

So if you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s a good sign. It shows you what you have to do.
Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

But first we need to look at some myths:

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