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Ways to Engage Your Prospects Without Becoming a Bore

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Bore: A person who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Gian Vincenzo Gravina

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A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.
Henry Ford

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One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore…

and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

John Updike

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The worst thing about a bore is not that he won’t stop talking, but that he won’t let you stop listening.

Author Unknown

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Copyright © 2010 Thomas Lee

Heartstormer Thomas Lee lives in Bozeman MT.

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Me Me Me ME ME ME! And then I…

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Are you a bore or a listener when you interface with prospects, clients, networkers, and others? Are you asking enough questions that allows the other person to share? Do you let them know that you heard them by paraphrasing what they share with you? For example, “What I heard you say is…” Or do you enter someone’s space and begin talking about yourself before you even sit down?

Here are some tips that will help you be liked in the process of building relationships with the people who can give you what you want.

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Show Up
Make the Meeting About the Other Person
Ask Questions
Be Caring
Be Fully Present
Listen
Get Information
Give Information
Laugh a Little
Dare to be Different
Develop Loyalty
Be a Little Mischievous
Remember Details

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Ask creative questions that are challenging, caring, interesting, informative, open-ended. Creative questions often begin with What if…? How may we…? In what ways…? Who are…? Why…? These kinds of questions are filled with a variety of answers that will help you get to know the other person. Each question leads to dialog. Do not ask questions that may be answered yes or no. Practice keeping control of the interview. Do not give your power away. Hold back from handing your portfolio to your prospect for as long as possible. Get them talking about themselves. Repeat what you heard your prospect say to confirm that you understand and to let them know you are listening. What I heard you say is… It is okay to take notes.

Make a list of ten creative questions that you may ask to learn more about your prospect and to get them sharing about themselves. Here is a starter list of advertising related questions (Please make up your own):

What if we were to collaborate on an assignment? What would you want me to know about you? What would you want to know about me?

What if you could change one thing about the agency business, what would it be?

What if you knew who the right photographer was to do a job even before you created the final concept? Have you ever worked with a photographer the initial concept phases of an ad.

Pretend that advertising has been banned by congress. What kind of work would you do? How would you go about doing it?

What if the next print ad you did demanded the highest level of innovation? In what ways would you want to collaborate with a photographer?

What if we were living in a Utopian world where each person could choose the kind of work they want to do? What kind of work would you do if money was not an object?

If you could make one improvement about how photographers try to get your attention, what would it be?

Let your prospects know that you know something about them and that you have chosen them as prospects. Let them know you are interested in them:

I want to work with art directors who are not only interested in great ideas but who can sell them through to their clients. I want to work with risk takers. Etc… (personalize this) I saw what you did when you were still at Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe. How in the world did the agency get the client to approve the idea?

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Networking and Some Related Challenging Quotes

Networking is a powerful marketing tool. The more people who know about you, your talents and your abilities, the more easily you will attract the opportunities, assignments, resources, people, ideas, money and results that you really want!

1. Create a Presence

People prefer to work with people they know and like. The industry wide concept of traditional repping and the art buyer system keeps prospects from knowing you. Find ways to know the decision makers in your world. Make the first move, in a friendly, helpful way.

This is the true joy in life: Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw

2. Plant a Garden
Plant seeds. Remember to water them. They are often a wonderful surprise. If you have an entire garden of unknown flowers, imagine the surprise when they bloom. Instead of offering your business card, ask for theirs. This allows you to water the seeds and to be more proactive. Rather than waiting for your phone to ring, reach out to your network.

You must give some time to your fellow man. Even if it’s a little thing; do something for those who have need of a man’s help, something for which you get no pay but privilege of doing it. For remember, you don’t live in a world all your own. Your brothers live here, too.
Albert Schweitzer

3. Ask Questions and Listen to the Answers

Make your conversations about the other person; not about you. Ask questions that invite conversation. Listen very carefully to what people share with you. Paraphrase what they said to be certain that you understand and to let the other person know you were listening carefully. Find ways to stay connected over time so you can create seven different ways of staying in touch with the person (phone call, email, postcards, lunch dates, sporting event, etc).

I no longer ask the young man’s question: How far will I go? My questions are now those of the mature person: When it is over, what will my life have been about? First as Martin Buber taught, life is meeting. We come alive only when we relate to others. Secondly, we are here to change the world with small acts of thoughtfulness done daily rather than with one great dramatic leap in results. Finally, we are here to finish god’s labors. One of the sages of the Talmud taught nearly two thousand years ago that God could have created a plant that would grow loaves of bread. Instead He created wheat for us to mill and bake into bread. Why? So that we could be His partners in completing the work of creation.
Harold Kushner

(more…)

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